Ep 11 | Cavona Flenoy Transcript

Voices of a Killer Ep 11 | Cavona Flenoy

Transcript

Before we begin this podcast, please be advised that the following episode contains language that some listeners may find offensive and inappropriate. The opinions expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not reflect the views of the podcast. Producers, listener, discretion is advised.

How many shots did you fire at him? I don't even know. Ever since I did the Netflix, and that was like three, four years ago, I still have nightmares and I still have flashbacks. You wrote down on the piece of paper and I quote, I got the gun and I just pulled the trigger. I'm an 18 year old girl with a six-month year old. I didn't have a man or anything else.

I was living by myself, so I was fearing. I was scared. How has prison been for you? Has it been pretty bad for you? I just can't wait until my pain to be over. I can have better days. Justice wasn't never made for me.

You are now listening to the podcast Voices of a Killer. I'm bringing you the stories from the perspective of the people that have taken the life of another human and their current situation thereafter in prison, you'll see that although these are the folks that we have been programmed to hate, they all have something in common.

They are all humans like us that admit that they made a mistake. Will you forgive them or will you condemn them? They're currently serving time for their murders, and they give us an inside glimpse of what took place when they killed. And their feelings on the matter. Now, here are the voices of those who have killed.

Welcome back to Voices of a Killer. Today we talked to Cavona Flenoy from Kansas City, Kansas. Now, you may have heard her name before as Cavona was featured on the Netflix documentary I am a Killer. But today we want to go beyond the Netflix documentary and explore what happened to lead her to a life behind bars.

Cavona's journey is one of pain, resilience, and the search for justice in a system that often fails those who need it most. From a young age, she faced unimaginable trauma and enduring abuse and violence that scarred her both physically and emotionally. The authorities meant to protect and support her, proved to be disappointingly inadequate, and ultimately she found herself in a situation where tragedy struck and a life was taken, we will discover how she copes with the realities of prison.

How did the sudden attention and public scrutiny impact her? In our pursuit of truth, we aimed to provide a comprehensive understanding of Cavona's experiences. So join us and listen closely to this exclusive interview on Voices of a Killer. Cavona, how old are you? I'm 32 years old. And where are you from?

I'm from Kansas City. Kansas. You grew up there all your life? Yes. How would you describe your childhood? Uh, early on? Was it pretty normal? Did you have some stress through life or what? At the age of 12, I got r***d by this boy in the basement and it really traumatized me and it really hurted me. And I had to go deal with court and take a lie detector tests and deal with the people that didn't believe me and people that wanted his back over mine. But then the detector steps came back cause I was telling the truth. And then when the authorities didn't do what I thought they supposed to do for me being victimized, they didn't do anything at all.

How old was this perpetrator?

He was 15 at the time.

Besides that event right there, how was your family life growing up?

I just feel like that I was living a life between heaven and hell. My dad, he had a bad alcohol problem and I've got shot up, shot at, pushed down, abused, verbally abused very badly. And so going through what I was going through, it was just terrible. I didn't know which way to go, who to trust. That's why I was, I ran away most of the time because, most of the time when you supposed to go home, you supposed to feel protected and I ran away from it.

Yeah. Did you get into drugs at a young age?

Yes, actually a man came and a friend of the family that I never even discussed about that first when I was 12 years old, told me that was the best solution for my to start smoking weed and drinking.

And that's what you did?

Yes.

At what age?

I started smoking and drinking at the age of 12.

Did you ever get into anything like crack cocaine or methamphetamines or anything?

No. I never got into any type of drugs like that. Only thing I know is the night before I caught my case, I had did some pcp.

Right. Had you ever been arrested before this murder charge?

Yes, I've been arrested, but like from juvenile.

What were you arrested for?

Um, I was arrested for going to a school and I was trying to drive and I accidentally didn't know how to drive cause I was 12 and I was so scared and the policeman jumped on the car and when he jumped on the car, I pressed the gas cause I was so scared and it hit first range into a tree. So that was my first incident, but at that time I was very angry inside about my r*** and my abuse and the older guys telling me, brainwash me, telling me to sell my body and everything else. I was very confused child.

Had you ever, uh, had access or sought, uh, a psychologist or therapy or anything like that?

When I got r***d the first time and then I got abused at age 14, and then I got assaulted at the age of 16, they had me go to Wyandot Mental Health. I had over 10 different counselors and then I went to Sunflower Help. They tried to put me on medication. They tried to help my problems that I was having. I thought the counseling was mainly a joke because they always tell me what do I need help with? And I would just be looking at 'em like, I'm telling you what I'm going through. I thought you supposed to tell me what I need help with.

So you felt like the therapy that you sought didn't really do what needed to do?

No. I felt as a child and you're asking for help and you going to all these counselors and they just having you paint a picture and they tell you what happened and you tell 'em you got r***d and abuse and you know everything else. And then they look at you and they tell you, so what do you think we need to start for getting you help? What will make you start being happy again? And I'm like, I thought that was your job to help me to process what am I dealing with? The anger and the hurt of somebody abusing me and hurt me.

That I've been getting hurt ever since I was a child and it haven't stopped yet. Yeah, everything I'm saying is on record. Every abuse, every my domestic violence with my boyfriend he beat me to death that I had to be in the hospital, and they pressed charges against him and I had to go to court with him.

Cavona Flenoy's life was a turbulent journey from a young age filled with heart wrenching experiences and desperate attempts to find solace. At just 12 years old, she faced the unimaginable horror of r***, a traumatic event that left her shattered in seeking justice. Despite undergoing a lie detector test that validated her account, the authorities turned a blind eye leaving her feeling abandoned and betrayed something that would become a running theme throughout the rest of her life.

While she managed to steer clear of the most treacherous narcotics, her path was still marred by brushes with the law. A fateful encounter with the police at the age of 12 led her to a harrowing car crash, a desperate escape fueled by fear and confusion. Yet it was a deep seated anger and anguish from her past that fueled her rebellious acts manifesting as cries for help in a world that seems to turn a blind eye. Seeking solace, Cavona embarked on a journey through countless counseling sessions. Hoping to find healing and understanding, but the therapist she encountered fell short of her expectations, leaving her disillusioned and unheard. This is something we often see with those behind bars, a mental health system that fails to catch those engulfed in their own trauma or problems, and subsequently they find themselves in a position that lead them to prison. For Covana, this would happen in a meeting in 2010, which ended in a murder.

So the victim in your case, Hasan Abbas. When did you first meet him?

I first met him at a liquor store.

Tell me about that.

I was at my apartment and I went to this liquor store and he asked me my name and he told me that I was, he thought that I was cute and everything else, and he asked me can he take me out on a date.

So I gave him my number and then one day he called me and asked me can he take me to Golden Corral?

Did y'all go eat dinner?

No, we did not go eat dinner. He just took me to his house.

So did he pick you up at your place and then y'all left from there?

Yes. He picked me up from my apartment.

And the plan was to go eat dinner, but he actually went to his house?

Yes.

What was the conversation like on the ride when whenever you figured out we're not going to eat at Golden Corral, we're going to his place?

When we passed the Golden Corral and we was driving so long I asked him like, where are we going? And he said, oh, I wanna go home. So I just got done working. I wanna go and take a shower.

What did you say whenever he changed the plans on you like that?

Well, I mean, in real thing with people working, you would think, okay, if you wanna go home and take a shower before going out to eat, I didn't really think nothing of it. I thought Ashley really wanted to take a shower.

So you didn't object to that?

No, I did not object to that. Cause somebody working all day and wanted to take a shower. I thought that was like, I would wanna take a shower and whatever before somebody took me out to eat.

Yeah. And this is in 2010 when this was going on?

Yes. And this is in 2010.

How old were you in 2010?

I was 18.

One of the things that was said, And that you're claiming differently is that you had actually been to his apartment before this murder occurred. Is that true?

That's the thing I, I never met this man, but the one time from the liquor store, when he asked me for my number to go to Golden Corral. That's why I didn't understand how they kept on seeing that I've been to this place already. When I said that, I met him twice. Okay. That is meeting the person twice when you meet first time at the liquor store. And second time when he took me to his house.

His roommate said that you had actually been there before, I wonder why he says that?

I don't know why he say that. Because his roommate works with him from the liquor store.

So he worked at the liquor store and Yes, he worked at the liquor store. And before he asked you out at the liquor store? Mm-hmm. Had you ever been in the liquor store and met him before?

No, I never met him before.

Okay. So you went in there and you were just trying to purchase alcohol underage?

Yes.

And he sold you that alcohol?

Yes.

Okay. And then he asked you out on a date, you go, he picks you up, you pass up Golden Corral, and he's headed to his place, which is an apartment, and y'all get out and he actually takes the shower?

Yes.

What are doing while he's taking shower?

I'm sitting on the couch,waiting.. So he's done taking a shower. What happens after that? When he get out, he got out with a condom on and he told me that I had to f*** him and s*** his d***, or I wasn't going anywhere.

Did you feel like you should run right there or what? From at that time. I'm just asking him, just can you just please take me home?

He drove me all the way out to somewhere that I didn't even know. Because I just, I thought he just wanted to take me out to eat. I never thought that he was gonna tell me I had to have sex with him and give him oral sex. What was his demeanor like whenever he told you that? Was it very like demanding or playful or how was No, it was aggressive and he said that Afghanistan women completely listens to Afghanistan, men, so you know where he lives.

Women doesn't have any say so. So he was from Afghanistan? Yes. What was your reaction whenever he demanded that? Would that scare you? My reaction I was scared is I don't know what, I didn't know what, what was really about to happen, what was about to occur. When a person just gets out the shower and already on hard with a condom and telling me something that I have, like he's demanding that I do this where, so it was very fearful and very scary.

You know, I've been through r*** and everything before. And that trauma just came back and I never thought in a million years somebody didn't tell me that I had to have sex with them or I was never gonna go home when I just had a six month year old baby. Did you have an opportunity at this moment? Was the door there for you to run out or what happened?

No, he was in front of me and I was sitting on the couch and he was most basically six foot five 200-some pounds and I'm four 11, a solid 110, 115. So at this point of time, he was in front of me. Why? I'm asking him to please just let me go home. What did he say whenever you asked him to please let you go home?

He most definitely told me I wasn't going home unless I f***ed him and s*** his d***. So take me past this moment. What happened next? Okay, so I tried to run and, oh, Okay. Can we stop for a minute please? Yeah, go ahead. We can stop you. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You don't have to apologize to me.

Take your time. Does it upset you to talk about it and think about it? No, it just, uh, ever since I did the Netflix, that was like three, four years ago. So I went through a lot during that time to reliving it. And sometimes when you try to go past stuff that you still fighting for, it's like, uh, emotional.

Because I still have nightmares and I still have flashbacks. Yeah. Even if I see ketchup or anything red or anything like that, in, in my mind, I still see blood. Sure. And it's, it's traumatizing. But I understand so Cavona. Okay. Here's the thing. If any moment you feel like this is not something you want to do, you definitely let me know and we'll just stop all together.

And I won't publish it if you don't want me to. I know it's a pretty crazy event. Even if you meant to do it or didn't mean to do it, it's still a crazy event. So it's gonna be completely up to you. I'm I'll proceed when you let me, but if you don't want to, I don't have to. As I spoke to Cavona, it was clear that her participation in the Netflix documentary had dug up scars that she had tried to bury. The weight of reliving her traumatic past, a burden that haunts her with nightmares and relentless flashbacks, calls her to wanna pause the interview.

We wanted to show you a brief insight into what these calls are really like. While the subject matters are difficult to talk about for the perpetrators of these crimes, we do have to lend a sympathetic ear to how they feel at the time of talking. Despite the emotional toll, she exhibits immense courage as she opens up about her harrowing experience, refusing to let her voice be silenced.

Cavona's initial encounter with the victim has Abbas took place at a liquor store where Cavona seeking solace or escape found herself crossing paths with destiny. Being under her age at the time, Cavona wanted to buy alcohol, Hassan offered to buy it for her, and in exchange asked her out on a date.

She agreed unaware of the horrors that lay ahead. There is one correction we must state here that Hassan Abbas was a Sudanese National and not Afghani as Cavona infers. Although he may have mentioned Afghanistan to Cavona at the time. This was in the context of revealing his true intentions with her, intentions that would eventually lead to his demise.

The plan was a seemingly innocent dinner at Golden Corral, but as they embarked on their journey, the course of events took a sinister turn. Hassan deviated from the agreed upon path, leading Cavona to his apartment. Instead, he insisted that Cavona engage in sexual acts with him if she wished to leave.

Fear gripped her as she found herself trapped in an unthinkable predicament, reminiscent of the trauma she had endured before. In the midst of her pleas for freedom, Cavona found herself faced with limited options for her escape. Overwhelmed by Hassan's imposing physical presence, she was unable to flee the apartment, forced to confront the horrifying reality of what laid before her, and decided to take matters literally into her own hands. Hands that brandished a recently bought gun.

You had actually purchased a gun prior to this event, what made you wanna purchase this gun? Okay. I purchased the gun like two weeks beforehand. I got into it with some girls and they was calling my phone and everything else and said that they was going to really beat, beat me bad.

This was in February, 2010. They came to my house and busted down my door and I called the police and I was like, please hurry. Some people was here at my house trying to hurt me and the police came and, cause I was yelling then I'm calling the police. I'm calling the police. So they left, they ran out, the police came, tried to speak to the girls or whatever because it was five of them and, and then as we talk, and then the police was like, gimme your name, whatever.

And they put it through the computer and see that I had a traffic warrant. So he told me that I was, he had to take me to jail. So I just even regretted even calling the police that day to even get help from them that I come after for help and then I end up going to jail that night. That's why I don't even trust authority.

That's why I run away, because every time I ask for authority help, it never helps. Ever since I was a kid, even when I got r***d or abused or domestic, the authorities and nothing did not help me, you know? And when this happened. So I felt like I had to protect myself. So I went and bought a gun. I'm a 18 year old girl with a six month year old. I didn't have a man or anything else. I was living by myself. So I was in fear and I was scared.

Cavona's decision to purchase a gun out of fear is not uncommon in the United States. Owning a firearm can provide a sense of security, especially for someone living alone like Cavona, who had a six month old child to protect the fear and lack of trust she harbored towards authorities based on her pre previous experiences of seeking help but not receiving adequate support further fueled her need for self-defense. While she may not have intended to use the gun on that night, it may just have saved her from a potential recurrence of the trauma she had experienced in the past.

How many shots did you fire at him? I don't even know. I don't even know how many. When he was coming towards me and trying to grab the gun from me and I just wanted him to get away from me. I don't even know how many I was being a I, how many times I shot. I just wanted him to get away from leave alone. I wanted him to let me go home.

That and more after the break.

So obviously you had this gun with you at the time when you went out on this date? Yes. I had it in my purse. And so whenever he was engaging with you to have sex with him, he was basically trying to force you to do this or you couldn't leave. You started thinking like, I gotta get my gun, I gotta save myself.

Yes. Because the person is telling you, you're not going home. That's a fair factor that you feel like you're in a lifetime where somebody is straight telling you, well, if you don't do this, you're not not going home. Then I didn't wanna do it.

Did you push him down and get on top of him? No, I didn't push him down.

When you said push him down and have sex with him, I didn't push him down and No, I'm just, one of the things that I researched when you were being interrogated, you wrote down on a piece of paper and I quote, I pushed him down like I was about to f*** him. I got the gun and I just pulled the trigger. Yes.

And that's when we got in the room. But I. How do I say this? It's not push him down, like just lay, I'm not like aggressively me just pushing somebody down, like just go and just lay down. It's not like I forcefully with my hands. Just push them down. Go ahead and just lay down. Yeah, but I didn't jump on top of him no.

Where I was standing by the doorway. Not like cold by the doorway, but right by the bed and. But, and your out from your gun was in your purse? Yes, my gun was in my purse. Y'all went to the bedroom, your purse came with you? Yes. And when did you decide to pull out the gun? At what moment? When he was laying down on the bed.

Where were you at? Did you, were you on top of him and the purse was in, in reaching distance? No, I was not on top of him at all. Okay. So he lays down on his back on the bed and waits for you? Yes. So at that moment you decided this was your chance to reach for your purse? Yes. What was his reaction whenever you pulled that gun out and he saw it?

I don't know the reaction on his face because it was dark. There was no light in the room. He, the lights were off. No, I just, yeah, that's why I'm saying from the, like, when you just said it from a reaction, cause how it saying it was not like it's a whole 30 minutes or hour. It's like a, it's very quick. I don't want it to be like I was in the room.

I was, I just thought about it and everything. No, I. Pushed him. Not like literally pushed him like his chest or anything. That's why I couldn't fight it from him from, in no damn name, nothing, because I didn't have sex with him. I didn't touch him, nothing like that. It was just like in my mental mind I'm thinking, okay, if I just get him down and whatever and try to do something, then I know that if I do this and just run as fast as I can.

Did you say anything when you pulled the gun out or you, did you pull it out and immediately start firing? No, I pulled it out and I shot and he got up and started running after me and telling me to give him the gun. Had you ever shot a gun before? No, my eyes were closed when I shot. Did you have one in the chamber? Was there a safety that you had to work all this stuff to get it to work?

No. The safety to get it to work? No, I don't. I just, I guess the safety was on. I never even dealt with a gun before. That was my first time even dealing with a gun. Yeah. So whenever you shot, was he laying on his back on the bed or was he standing up? No, he was laying on the back when I first shot and after that, he got up and I was surprised and I was shocked because I did not even know that he would've got up that fast. I never knew that when you shoot somebody that some people, I guess didn't feel it or anything. Was he yelling at you when you started shooting? He was telling me to give him the gun, and I said, please get away from me.

Please get away from me. And he kept coming towards me trying to grab the gun from me. He came close, close enough to reach for the gun and tried to grab it from you? Yes. And you just kept shooting? Yes. How many shots did you fire at him? I don't even know. I don't even know how many. When he was coming towards me and trying to grab the gun from me, and I just wanted him to get away from me.

I don't even know how many I was in a trance, I don't know how many times I shot. I just wanted him to get away from me. I just wanted him to leave me alone. I just wanted him to let me go home. Yeah. So I guess one of the shots finally stopped him. Yes. And he fell to the ground? Yes. After he fell to the ground, what did you do?

Did you stick around or did you run out of there immediately? No, I ran. In the report it says that you actually took his keys, his cars, and left with that. Yes, he took me there. I really didn't know where I was at. His car keys was right there, so I grabbed them. I ran into the car. I didn't know where I was going.

The car was on E. I was trying to look for something for change because the car was on E. So you used his credit card to put gas in there? Yes. The car was on E and that's when I looked in the middle, I thought there was gonna be some change or anything in the middle of itand. It wasn't, but I seen a card and I just was trying to just get outta there.

It, it's just something, if it was a trance or something, just never happened to me before. I never shot nobody before. I never, never pulled a trigger before in my life. That was my first time. In my mind, I thought he was coming after me.

Cavona's decision to pull out the gun and ultimately shoot Hassan Abbas in his apartment could be seen as a desperate act of self-defense in the face of a threatening situation, feeling trapped and coerced into a sexual encounter.

She believed her only chance of escape was to use the firearm she carried for protection. It is important to note that Cavona Eminently denies physically pushing Hassan down or engaging any sexual activity with him. While her actions may be seen as justified in the context of self-defense, Cavona did not stop there.

After the shooting, she fled the scene and in a state of panic and confusion, made the impulsive decision to take Hassan's car and use his credit card to fuel it. This action could potentially complicate the legal assessments of the incident as it goes beyond the realm of self-defense. While Cavona did everything she could to escape Hassan's true intentions.

She did manage to escape authorities. It didn't take long for the long arm of the law to find her. So after all this happened and you left and you have his car, what else did you do? Did you not think about calling the police and saying, Hey, I just had to defend myself? At that time, I was still shocked. I was still, I didn't even know who I was at that time.

I never thought after all the hurt somebody did to me, I never thought I could even hurt somebody. Yeah, I never thought so. I was scared. I was fearful. I still from in my mind that he was still gonna come after me, even though I seen him go down. I still, from that first time when he got up, I still feel like he was going to come after me.

So did you tell any friends or family members that what you just did? I didn't say it as that. I think my cousins then thought I was just high and tripping. Because they were smoking PCP too, and I was just saying that like I'm really hurting and I'm really confused and I don't know what to do and I just, I feel like I just hurt somebody and I don't know what to do.

Yeah. Did you actually take the license plate off of your car and put it on his car? No, I did not do that. You took his cell phone too, right? His cell phone was already in the car, just like the, it was in the middle of the car thing just where the credit card was at. Yeah, it was in the middle of the car slot. How long after this happened did you get arrested?

I think it was like two days later. Two, three days later. And what was that like? Scared. Yeah, I was scared. I was, didn't know what was gonna happen. The detective told me to tell him and let him know if anything, and where's the car. And I, I cooperated. Yeah. So the police arrest you and they charged you with murder?

Yes. What was your reaction to that? Uh, my reaction was like, how are you charging me for a second degree murder when somebody. Told me I wasn't going home and told me I had to do things with them and tried to get the gun and run after me. And I felt if he would've got the gun that he would've shot and hurted me and when she told me to explain it to her and that she was sad that what all the trauma that I had when I was a child and that she knew how I felt to be hurt and molested, and because I told her I didn't wanna go through that anymore, that I've been through it ever since I was 12. I've been hurt, I've been abused, I've been r***d, I've been beaten with my head up against the window and kicked down.

Do you feel like you were mistreated while you were being interrogated? Yes. I feel like the lady, when she was telling me to just tell her what happened, she understand and I was just crying to her and I was just saying that, oh God, I just been hurting all my life. He tried to hurt me. And she said she understands and she been through trauma and hurt and abuse before, and I feel like she was understanding.

That's why I already just told her like I didn't wanna go through a r***. I didn't wanna go through no more hurt. I already been through hurt ever since I was 12. How much more hurt can they feel like a child can take? A person can take when I've been through it ever since, from 12 to 18, how much more pain you think I can take and nobody, I feel like nobody, I didn't get justice from nobody.

Okay? The first boy that r***d me, we went in and outta court. Nothing happened. They said he was a teenager, things happened, whatever. His mom and dad moved him to another state. G? Yes, he got expelled from school. He was on one year's probation. But mainly, I feel like one year's probation is the only justice that I get for somebody touching me and abusing me. When I got beat and in the attic getting punched, getting spit on, getting kicked, I had to go and stand and testify against him and he didn't get any time.

In the aftermath of the incident, Cavona found herself in a state of shock and confusion, fearful and numb by the traumatic events. She was unable to immediately process her emotions or reach out to friends or family for support. When she confided in her cousins, they perceived her distress as a result of drug use rather than understanding the gravity of the situation she had experienced.

It is important to note that Cavona does not mention in the interview that Hassan had given her pcp. Which she had voluntarily tried according to court documents. This detail sheds light on why her friends might have been skeptical of her account. The presence of drugs could have added further confusion and clouded her perception of events during that distressing night.

Her subsequent arrest and interrogation left Cavona feeling vulnerable. Disbelief at her second degree murder charge. After everything she had went through further her deep seated mistrust of authorities. She believed that she had acted in self-defense, something that would surely be easy to prove at trial, but Cavona would soon find out that her lawyer had a different idea.

Whenever you got arrested, had you ever been bailed out or you just stayed in there the entire time? No, my mom always bailed me out. Because it was just traffic tickets most of the time that I, anything from traffic tickets. And did you hire an attorney or you had a public defender? No, my mother and my grandmother hired me, an attorney, and then when I went back to court, they hired me another attorney, because my first attorney lied to me.

How did she lie to you? She lied to me. She told me, she promised me and wrote down and. That I was going to get a 10 year sentence. The judge was lenient on me, knew that I'd been through a lot in my life, a lot of trauma, a lot about her, a lot of PTSD. And if I plead guilty, I was gonna get 10 year sentence.

You were offered a plea deal? That's what she offered me was the plea deal, that this was the deal that I was gonna get a 10 year census, 85%. So they told you you would get a 10 year sentence and that's what you wanted to, you went ahead and took that? Yes. And then the judge ended up giving you 25 years?

Yes. And so I was confused. I didn't know like literally what was going on. Cause this is what my lawyer promised me. And she even wrote it down on paper and discussed it with me and my mom, and my grandma was like, I'm still a teenager, and the judge is, will be lenient on me because what all I've been through and just plead out because if not taking a trial that since the, she told me since this place was Platte County was so racist that I wouldn't have a chance in hell going to trial.

So I'd rather just take the plea deal of 10 years. Cause she said if I took it to trial, I was gonna never see my son again. So when she told me that and my son was six months, I just went ahead and I thought I was just gonna do the 10. So you're in court and the judge actually says 25 years. What was your reaction to that?

Yes, I was mad. I was angry because I didn't know what was going on. Did you yell at the judge? No. Only thing I said was from my, if you see my transcript, oh God, I thought you'll never leave me nor forsake me. I've been hurt all my life. Why is this happening to me? The only thing I said was, why has this happened to me on my transcript?

You can see that's the only thing. I didn't yell at the judge. I just, I was confused. And then you can see on the transcript my mom saying to down, and I said, mama, how can I calm down when I've been hurt all my life? Justice wasn't never made for me. So ever since I was 12, no justice was made for me. So you get sentenced to 25 years and you file an appeal.

You've exhausted all your appeals. Yes, I exhausted all my appeals. I went to back to court with my other attorney named Pat Peterson and he had my old lawyer on the stand to ask her the thing about the 10 year sentencing and my self defense. And she said that she didn't know about. He asked her what do she think self defense was, and she said she had to look it up in her on her laptop.

She didn't know it right off the bat, but she felt like you have to be harmed. Physically harmed to call for self-defense. So that's why she felt like I didn't have a self-defense case cause I wasn't harmed and she felt like you need to be harmed to be self, have self-defense.

When faced with charges in her current case, Cavona placed her trust in an attorney who promised her a plea deal.

According to the agreement, she believed that pleading guilty would result in a sentence of 10 years, a term she believed fair and manageable given the circumstances. However, the reality turned out to be a harsh contrast. The judge unexpectedly sentenced her to 25 years leaving Cavona bewildered and outraged.

While she doesn't mention it explicitly. In Cavona's case, had it gone to trial and she had pleaded innocent, she would've been faced with first degree murder charges for Cavona. That meant the potential of never seeing her son again, so she took the plea deal. Now we have spoken a lot about how people's circumstances can be used as leverage for plea deals on Voices of a Killer.

Perhaps this combined with the alleged incompetency of Cavona's lawyer led her to being sent down for this crime. It also led her to attempt to appeal her case many times, process, which she now exhausted this turn of events further exacerbated Cavona's already fragile mental state. The sense of injustice and the belief that the justice system had failed her once again, intensified her feelings of mistrust and hopelessness.

The broken trust with her defense lawyer, whom she accused of lying to her, deepened her disillusionment in the legal system and eroded her faith in obtaining fair treatment. After the break, we discovered more about Cavona's traumatic past.

So there was a psychologist, Dr. Hutchinson, that actually said that you do have PTSD from what happened. But the prosecutors in the, the system basically says that's not an excuse to kill someone. And they did not think that it was self-defense. But you're saying that you felt like your life was in fear and that's how you had to take care of it.

Yes, with the whole trauma and the battle that I've been through ever since I was 12, you have to know when. I got r***d by this boy at 12. I was confused and the authority did not do nothing. And when you know, this other boy lifted up my shirt and licked my breast and I had to run back to the school and this boy got suspended and I went to court with that.

And then he got expelled from school and then he was on probation for a year for doing that to. And then I'm from my boyfriend's 16, just keeping me an attic and beating me to death, and I couldn't go nowhere. Even my mom tried to come and beat down the house and say, where is my daughter? I was already hurt.

I was big hurt from somebody just to realize of what all the pain I've been through ever since I was 12 until this occurred. I just felt like I couldn't take no hurt no more. I was confused why this keeps happening to me, why I have to take this pain, why everybody is just saying okay. This girl murder, somebody is not self defense from the trauma from 12, all that is coming to my mind when somebody's telling me something that I have to do.

Okay, am I gonna have to go through this trauma and this pain and this batter all over again? When you have a little leap for people that understand that when you go through so much, pain in your life and somebody's hurting you, it's just you can't take no more. I tried probably five, six times to commit suicide.

Because nobody understand my pain. Not even when they came was like, you'll get through it. How can you just be so easily to say, only because I'm a child I would get through it? No. When you get r***d and when you get abused and when you get beat, it stays with you.

It stays with you. It makes you feel nasty. It makes you feel ugly. It makes you feel disgusted. It makes you feel like you're not even loved or wanted or thrown away. And then authorities say, I'm gonna be here for you and I'm gonna help you and I'm gonna protect you, and I'm gonna give you counseling.

And then get counseling. And then the counselor don't even help you. They wanna ask you, what do you feel like I need to get help. Like I, I never thought in my life that I could hurt somebody.

In this unique insight into Cavona's mind, she expresses her confusion and frustration, questioning why she had to endure such pain while feeling unheard and misunderstood.

The trauma she experienced created a profound fear within her, leaving her to believe that she had to take matters into her own hands for her own safety. However, the system did not view her actions as self-defense. Dismissing her trauma as an excuse for taking someone's life. Cavona's plea for understanding and recognition of the emotional turmoil she endured goes unanswered.

When I listen to Cavona speak, I find her story both heartbreaking and thought-provoking. This is why her story became the subject of a Netflix documentary. I was curious to learn more about her life after the I Am a killer documentary and the subsequent publicity she had experienced. How did her time in prison shape her further?

Did the attention shed light on the systematic issues she faced or did it further isolate her?

How has prison been for you? Has it been pretty bad for you? Yes. Prison has been pretty bad for me. When I got in a lot of fights, a lot of people set me up with razor blades, shanks, different things like that.

Calling fake, false pre on you all types, it's prison is. The worst thing and the last thing I ever want in my life. I just can't wait till my pain to be over. I can have better days. I'm gonna have better days cuz I have been through it ever since I was a teenager. I'm 32 years old now. I'm gonna make sure I be happy and not sad.

Yeah. Because I have been sad and it's been a disgrace all my life, starting from my childhood on up. And you have a child on the outside, don't you? Yes, I have a son. How old is he now? He's 15. Do you have a relationship with him? Yes, I have a relationship with my son. You know, he's just a child. He really, he feel like all the stories that he hears and sees on Netflix or on the websites and everything else.

And he just say, mama, they really knew who you was instead of what the websites or everybody portraying you to be. If they know you, they'll look at you differently. And that's what a lot of inmates in here tell me too.

Cavona's desire for a better life is something that I believe we as listeners can all resonate with. This unique never before heard interview will hopefully allow her to tell her story in a different light. Before we ended our conversation, I wanted to give her the opportunity to let people know who she really is.

If you could tell the public something about you, what would it be? I am a very understanding person and when I love, I love hard, and I believe that I forgive real easily because I believe in second chances. Cause everybody deserves second chances. And I know I deserve a second chance because I was young. I've been through a lot. I haven't grown. I have matured. I'm not the same person anymore. I was a child. I was a child that was confused and hurt and didn't even know why.

And sometimes it's crazy to say, but I feel like prison have changed my life cause it had me see things differently and make sure I appreciate life more better. Safety that I'm not gonna trust somebody just fully anymore. Cavona, I hope that you do your time stress free, and I know that's probably impossible to do as stress free, as free as possible, but I'm sorry this happened to you.

It sounds like a very unfortunate event, which most murderers are obviously. Yeah. If I could take this day back, I would. Do you think if you wouldn't have shot him, you, your life would've been in harm? Just like I tell my mama all the time, I wish I would've just did it dealt with the hurt, kept it moving.

Yeah, I wish I just would've did it. I guess we'll never know the outcome, but certainly r*** is not a good alternative. I'm sorry, this unfortunate event occurred in your life. Hopefully when you get out, you can have a good relationship with your son, your mother, and hopefully things get better for you.

Okay? Okay. Thank you. All right. You have a good day. Okay? You too. Thank you. Bye-bye.

On the next episode of Voices of a Killer.

Tell us your side of the story now.

You think she would listen to my side of the story? Where were you the day that this murder occurred? I didn't touch her. Who would've killed her? Why would she be out at that location? Do you know anything? The only thing I noticed, they, they, they found her out in the woods in a long lane down there, and she had been shot in the head.

So I, there like a dummy, they just got convicted of something that I didn't do, threw me under the bus. Man.

That's a wrap on this episode of Voices of a Killer. I want to thank Cavona for sharing her story with us today. Her ability to be open and honest is what makes this podcast so special. A big shout out to Sonic Futures who handled the production audio editing, music, licensing, and promotion of this podcast.

If you want to hear more episodes like this one, make sure to visit our website at https://voicesofakiller.com. There you can find previous episodes, transcripts, and additional information about the podcast. Lastly, if you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving us a review on Spotify, apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Your feedback helps us improve and. Reach new listeners. Thank you for your support and we can't wait to share more stories with you in the future. Thank you for tuning in. I'm your host, Toby, and we'll see you next time on Voices of a Killer.