Ep 13 | Amanda Bennett Transcript

Ep 13 | Amanda Bennett 

Transcript

Before we begin this podcast, please be advised that the following episode contains language that some listeners may find offensive and inappropriate. The opinions expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not reflect the views of the podcast producers. Listener discretion is advised.

Amanda Bennett was sentenced to life in prison today for her role in the murder of Kaytlin Root. Since I am a psychopath, he's giving me the maximum sentence possible, which is life imprisonment. You guys had actually reached out to several people on Facebook Messenger and whoever answered y'all were going to kill them.

Part of the deal was that he had to kill a certain amount of people a year or something to continue his deals or something like that. It had to have killed her brainwaves because she wasn't like humanly functional after that. She was more just bodily functional after that. My heart just broke because my grandma said I deserve to die.

You are now listening to the podcast Voices of a Killer. I'm bringing you stories from the people that have taken of another human and their current situation thereafter in prison. You will see that although these are the folks that we have been programmed to hate they all have something in common.

They are all humans like us that admit that they made a mistake. Will you forgive them or will you condemn them? They are currently serving time for their murders and they give us an inside glimpse of what took place when they killed and their feelings on the matter now. Here are the voices of those who have killed.

In this episode of Voices of a Killer, we uncover the shocking details of how a seemingly innocent Facebook Messenger conversation led to the tragic death of Kaytlin Root, a deeply loved and cared for individual from St. Joseph, Missouri. In 2016, her life was cut short by the choices of Amanda Bennett, the subject of this episode.

Her twisted connection and inseparable bond with her co defendant and star crossed lover, Sebastian Dowell, will leave you questioning the depths of human darkness. As the investigation unfolds, we explore the eerie intersection of social media and real life consequences, exposing the dangers that lurk in the shadows of online platforms.

This tale takes us on a journey through the dark realms of the occult, the dangerous realms of social media, and the devastating consequences of a friendly meetup that ended in a ritual sacrifice. Please note, this episode contains graphic content and sensitive subject matter. Listener discretion is advised on this episode of Voices of a Killer.

So Amanda, how would you describe your childhood? At the very beginning of it, it was really good, because mom and dad was there, dad made a lot of money, dad spent a lot of time with me, but dad has a lot of mental health issues and all that stuff, and he beats women, so he'd always be my mom and stuff, and we don't believe in calling the police, so me as a three year old trying to fight off my dad, stuff like that, I have an older half brother.

Your situation is pretty unique because you basically were still a child whenever you were accused of murdering Kaytlin Root. How old were you? I was 16, she was 17. My co defendant, I think, was 18. Did you ever get in trouble growing up before this occurred? Nope. I was a straight A student, I was a cheerleader, I did a bunch of, like, little kid theater programs, and we did theater at the Missouri Theater a few times. I starred in that. I was in the newspaper for that. I was in a GATE program, which is like the special smart kids class. I volunteered at the soup kitchen. I ran children's church at church. I ran the children's choir. I ran vacation Bible school. I was not in that life. It was more of a sense of, I was lost and I needed someone to love me. And my co defendant came along and told me I was beautiful and I fell for it. And he knew it. He knew he had me wrapped around his finger. He could say jump. And I said, how high, sir?

So your co defendant is somebody that you fell in love with. Is that what you're saying? Yep. We have a baby together. Yeah. When did y'all have a baby before you were accused of the murder? Yeah. My son was two months old. Okay. When we were arrested. He is six now.

So describe your relationship with the co defendant. It was infatuation. But it was like the very... bad version of it as in if I don't have your full attention kind of thing. It was bad. At first I loved it, but then it got to the point where I didn't have any family anymore because he secluded me from them and he convinced me that-

Were you all living together? Yeah, cuz he quit high school and then he got kicked out from his mom's house and had to go live with his dad and his dad lived in a trap house where there was like no electricity running water or furniture and so I would go over there to make sure he wasn't doing drugs and anything like that And they talked about the SWAT team kicking in and I knew he would be arrested So I was like, okay, you're coming with me then because you're not gonna go to jail and then he lived with me then Before I got with him.

I was with another boy and I had a miscarriage and it went took me through severe depression because I was already a cutter and with depression and all that stuff since I was eight and the boy who was the dad like turned to somebody else. So then I was just like by myself So then I turned to Sebastian because that was all that I had, that's all I knew because I wasn't very popular in school.

Most people didn't like me. Yeah. I was like, I don't care who you are or what, but I just lost my child. I want another one. And I was like, I don't care if you say that you're the father or not. Everybody thinks I'm a wh*** anyway, so it wouldn't surprise them if I didn't know. And then he was like, okay, deal.

He's like free s*x. What's up? I was like, okay. And then he just didn't leave after that. Wow. That's quite the relationship. It's crazy. But it got to the point where it was always Amanda and Sebastian, Amanda. If you messaged one of us the other one probably answered, but you'd never know because we sounded exactly the same when we talked, like I could finish his sentences, I knew what he was going to say, I knew what he was going to ask for, I took care of him, he took care of me, we went to the bathroom together, it was like we were conjoined at the hip, we were the same person.

Growing up, Amanda faced a turbulent childhood marred by her father's mental health issues and abusive behavior towards her mother. However, she excelled academically, participated in theater programs, and was actively involved in community service. Everything changed when she crossed paths with Sebastian Dowell, a boy who caught her attention and eventually became her high school sweetheart.

Their relationship quickly became intense with Amanda becoming besotted by Sebastian. She describes their bond as being inseparable, where she would do anything to have his attention and approval. They even had a child together, something that Amanda might have used to really dig her claws into him, perhaps in a vain attempt to alleviate her depression.

But behind the facade of their infatuation lay a darker truth, as Amanda's isolation from her family and the lure of a new relationship spiraled into a devastating turn of events. At first glance, it seems like perhaps Amanda dug her claws into Sebastian when she found out about his home situation.

Perhaps he was as vulnerable as their victim, but from reading news articles, it seems like Amanda may have fallen under Sebastian's spell quite literally. I wanted to know more about her relationship with Sebastian. And his gruesome infatuation with death and the occult.

What's your co defendant's name? Sebastian. What's his last name? Dowell. I call him co defendant a lot because in county people would forget who I was. They would treat me like a normal person. And then when I'd say his name, everybody would be like, Oh my God, that is you. And then treat me horrible again. So it's like Voldemort, Voldemort, thou shalt not be named.

So I just called him co defendant. Because one of the girls there was like, Everyone's cool with you until you say his name. So just call him co defendant and people realize that's you. So then I just started calling him co defendant, so Sebastian is stuck for years. So if I say co defendant or Sebastian, it's interchangeable. I usually say co defendant though, and he's Italian. He's a pretty boy. He's really pretty. I think that was another thing that got me. Did y'all have discussions about doing illegal things together? Was it like a Bonnie and Clyde type thing? Did y'all discuss doing like sinister things together? My co defendant was, what did he call his religion? Now that I can't remember.

He wasn't satanic, but he worshipped demons. Okay. Kind of thing. Alright. I guess he was dark. And y'all's time together, because y'all spent so much time together, did y'all have talks about doing things sinister, like crimes or killing animals or anything like that? No, we'd never harm an animal. I'm an animal lover.

I made him go to church with me. And he was like, okay, now that I went to church with you, now you need to learn my religion. So he like, had this whole notebook and stuff that he made about his religion and all that stuff about how he talks to them, and if you give them stuff, they'll give you stuff, and things like that.

But we never, you know, talked about committing crimes or anything. He wanted to be like, famous for stuff like that, but I didn't ever take it serious. So being a Christian, what did, how did you view that when he's telling you these things like his own religion, demons and things? It's like yin and yang, just like I told my mom, cause my mom was like, I don't believe in demons.

I'm like, how? You're a Christian. You believe in angels and cherubim and all that stuff where there's good, there's evil. We believe in all these things in the Bible like these big monsters that stand next to the throne of God. So what do you think the evil side is? I knew it was real. It's just, I figured if I ignored it, then it didn't affect me.

As long as I wasn't doing it. It was okay. So obviously at some point you guys had actually reached out to several people on Facebook Messenger and whoever answered y'all were gonna kill them. Okay, so the beginning of that is part of his religion, I guess. These so called deals with these people, these demon people, and I don't remember what some of the deals were now, but it was something about past lives or something and things like that.

But I guess part of the deal was that he had to kill a certain amount of people a year or something to continue his deals or something like that. Now, do you think that he's ever killed someone before this murder? No. And that was another reason why I went along with it, because he has a bad boy persona, but I know him.

You know what I'm saying? I know his heart. I know he would give you the shirt off his back. He is the sweetest guy that I have ever met in my life, and I've never seen him be violent before. You know what I'm saying? He's the nicest person there is. I thought he was just pulling my chain.

Sebastian, referred to as co defendant to shield Amanda's identity was not just a mere partner in crime, but someone deeply entrenched in the occult. As Amanda immersed herself in his world, she found herself torn between her Christian beliefs and the belief that good and evil coexists. It's also interesting to note her reference to the Harry Potter character, Voldemort here as, perhaps, Amanda saw Sebastian's beliefs as pure fantasy. Nevertheless, Sebastian's connection to the occult took a sinister turn when their quest for fulfillment led them to seek out sacrifices. Their chilling conversations on Facebook Messenger unveiled a macabre pact where certain deals with demon ntities demanded a quota of lives to be taken each year. Unfortunately, It was within this distorted context that a seemingly innocent message to Kaytlin Root sealed her tragic fate.

So this night, basically, he's telling you, he's, here's the things I have to do, I have a job, I gotta go, you know, kill a certain amount of people. He had talked about it for a while, cause right before I had my son, so, he was like, I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna do this, and I was like, okay, whatever, go ahead, so then he left.

And, because I was at home, so I was pregnant, so I was like, you know what, whatever, I'm going to sleep. And you weren't taking him seriously? No, because like I said, he's never done anything like that. So he leaves and then I was like come back. I don't want you to leave. So he came back and nothing happened.

Then he kept saying it over and over and over again. And I had finally had my son and I had postpartum really bad, so I was on antidepressants for that and I woke up at 5 in the morning. Got Sebastian ready for work, took him to work, came back, took care of the baby, went, picked Sebastian up, went to work myself, came back, and started the process all over again.

So I'm exhausted, I'm not there mentally, and he's just, we gotta do this, we gotta do this, and I'm like, you know what, okay, fine, we'll do it. I'm tired of hearing it, we'll do it. Whatever you want, we'll go. And then he was like, okay, we have to find somebody. And I was like, okay, go ahead. And he was like, do you know anybody? Because no one's going to hang out with me. I'm a man. So he's like, no one's going to hang out with me in the middle of the dark. No girl's going to go with me. Especially because everyone around town knew that I was his girlfriend. So no girl is just going to go with him. So he was like, find somebody. So I said, okay.

So then I messaged a few people that I knew on Facebook that would probably hang out with us. And whoever that they were. Okay, with hanging out with us, hang out with us, but not kill him. I didn't think it was going to get that far to be honest, to be honest, what I honestly thought was going to happen was we're going to go pick this person up and go hang out, smoke pot, and he was going to be like, ha ha, I'm just kidding or he just wasn't going to do it like I was going to be like, oh, so see, I told you weren't going to do it. And then we're going to take her home and move on and be like, ha ha, he was all jokes, funny, whatever. And that did not happen. But y'all had messaged several people, right? I think I messaged three people on my Facebook and he messaged a few people on his Facebook.

So technically, somebody else could have easily died whoever answered that messenger, wouldn't you say? It could have been anybody. It could have been the girl that he was going to meet. Whenever I told him to come back because he left with the same stuff that he left when I went with him. Out of all those messages both of y'all sent only one replied, correct? Yup.

And that would have been Kaytlin Root? Yeah. And what exactly did you message her? You just said hey, we're just wanting to hang out get high? I said, hi, do you want to hang out with me and Sebastian? I think I just said me, because he said, don't say Sebastian, because he's scared. I said, hey, do you want to hang out?

I got some pot. We can go to a park or something, swing around and smoke, and she said, okay, and I said, all right, don't tell anybody that you're coming with us, because we don't want them to spread rumors about us. And then I was like, and my boyfriend's with me. She said, okay. I said, all right, I'll pick you up down the street. And I went to go get her.

So whenever you went to go get her, did Sebastian, was he, uh, had a knife with him and a weapon or what? He brought my purse, cause I don't carry purses. I carry my phone in my back pocket and that's really all that I need. I don't really have, I didn't really have money or anything, we never really went anywhere.

So I don't really carry a purse, so he grabbed a purse that was out of my closet, our closet, and he put a sacrificial blade in there because he collected knives. So he put a sacrificial blade in there, which was like a blade with skulls and stuff all over it or something.

What were you thinking whenever you seen him do this? Were you like, did you think about saying, well, you can't be serious about this, right? No, I just didn't. I just thought he was putting on a show. I thought we were going to get there. And then whenever it got down to the point where it was actually going to happen, I didn't think anything was going to happen, which I know. Talking about it now, being older now, that sounds really stupid. It sounds really stupid. But, I loved him and I knew, you know what I'm saying, I knew him, I knew he wasn't going to do it.

Y'all both get in the same vehicle to go pick up Kaytlin? Yeah, he can't drive. That's why I had to go. I had to go because I couldn't drive. Kaytlin gets in the backseat, y'all pick her up, and y'all take her to the park? At first we go to Hyde Park because there's like a cave or something in there, and she was like, yeah, let's go. I said, okay. So we went there, and then when we pulled in, we started smoking on the skateboard ramp. And Sebastian's ex girlfriend pulls in, and all of us are like, oh, this b****.

So then we were like, let's just leave. So then we leave, and we go to the other park, which is Krug Park. Because we were like, well, we can go walk through the trails. Because me and Sebastian would always go to the trails at like the middle of the night. And we would just walk the trails. Did he take the purse with him, or did you have the purse?

It was still in the car. He never, he didn't take it with him. So, he carries everything. I'm not allowed to have things, so I don't have my phone most of the time. He'll put it in his pocket, and he has the pot, the pipe, all of that.

Sebastian's desire for violence and sacrifice grew from a twisted manifestation of his obsession with the occult.

Amanda, caught between disbelief and loyalty, found herself reluctantly agreeing to participate in Sebastian's plans. Exhausted from the demands of motherhood and grappling with postpartum depression, She hoped it was all an elaborate show, never truly believing they would follow through with their sinister designs.

On the fateful night, Amanda, acting as Sebastian's accomplice, set out to find a victim. According to court documents, Amanda, quote, messaged a few depressed people on Facebook, unquote. And finally, Kaytlin Root responded, unknowingly stepping into the dark web woven by Amanda and Sebastian. With the sacrificial blade concealed in Amanda's purse, the duo embarked on a journey that would forever alter the course of their lives and Kaytlin's fate.

Krug Park in St. Joseph, Missouri is known for its picturesque trails and serene atmosphere. The park's 163 acres would soon become the haunting backdrop for a sinister and horrific act.

So whenever y'all get to Krug Park where everything took place and you actually get out of the vehicle, what is Sebastian's demeanor like? Does it seem like it's normal? Is he like like starting to stare and take deep breaths? Okay, so to get the full part, we have to backtrack a little bit. Okay. So we smoked and I have this big cup of water, so we're all drinking that. Okay. And then I tell them, I don't like to drive when I'm high because I can't see if I'm going to wreck. So I was like, we need to go get something.

And I said, okay, let's go to the gas station. He said, okay, see if her phone has a lock on it. I said, okay. Okay. So then we pull into the thing, the gas station, he goes in to get chips and I was like, Hey, let's take a picture on your phone. We get out her phone. And I take a picture of a light in front of the gas station, which is how the police knew where we were.

Yeah. I saw that. And then I said, okay, we'll just take a picture. So you remember the night because we're going to have fun. That's what we were going to do. We already had fun smoking pot. Now we're going to go walk through the trails in the middle of the night, like me and Sebastian usually do. Cause we were going to go show her the hidden waterfall that was back there that me and Sebastian knew how to get to not a lot of people do But he used to live over there So that's where we used to hang out at. Then we go to Krug Park And I had to pee really bad. Krug Park kind of is like a drive through park. It's really long. So we're driving through and we stop at this port a potty and I'm like, oh great.

I got to go to the bathroom I'll be right back So then, I go to the bathroom, everybody was in the car, so when I come out, I don't know what he said to her while I was in the car, but she locked herself in the car, and he's sitting on the curb with the purse, so I come out, and I was like, what are you doing, and he was like, she won't come out.

I was like, why? And he was like, I don't know, she won't come out. So I was like, knocked on the window and I was like, come on, let's go walk the trails or whatever. And she said, I don't want to or something like that. And I was like, why not? And she was like, I don't know. And I was like, okay, come on, let's go smoke some more pot.

Do you think she, do you think he scared her in the car, obviously? Oh, probably because she locked herself in a car. I don't know what he said to her. He never told me. He never told me what he said. Did she look scared at that point in her face? Yeah, she looked scared like he had said, I don't know what he said to her, but he said something to her to the fact that maybe she seemed into the purse or something because he had it next to him.

Or maybe he took something out of it or what? I don't know because when I came back, she was locked in the car and he was sitting on the curb with the purse next to the car. I don't know if he said something to her or what happened. Okay, so you ask her to get out and she doesn't get out or she does?

After I'm like, come on, let's just go, the rocks over here, we're going to sit on the rocks and smoke some more. And she said, okay. And so we started walking over there, and we sit on the rocks and smoked some more pot, and Sebastian told me that I wasn't allowed smoking more because I get stupid.

How's his demeanor now? Has it changed? Do you think he's doing something sinister? Not really. He's always very calm and collected. Did he bring the purse with him? Yeah, he has the purse with him, and he carries it to the rocks instead of sitting on the ground, because by the time, we walk pretty far away from the car, because the trails are really far in the back of the park, like the very back of it, like you gotta walk down a hill and then go into the wooded area. Like you can't, if you aren't familiar with that area, you ain't going to find it. You can't follow the trails at night if you don't know what you're doing. I don't remember how we get to the trails. I know we're next to the trails smoking. I don't remember how we get to the trails though.

There's like buffalo right in front of the trails. And I think she wanted to see if the buffalo were there. So we were walking through and we kept getting hit by cobwebs. We would take turns walking first. She would walk first, I would walk first and Sebastian would walk first. When y'all start walking up to this point, were y'all looking at each other trying to communicate through your body language?

Are we doing this or not? Was there any of that? Not really. We were just having a good time. We were just walking like we normally do. Me and Sebastian, we hang out with individual people at different times and we always go to the trails and club park at 2 in the morning. It's really weird now that I think about it now, but that was what we did.

We just walked through the park. That's all we did. Then we go home. So it was like that. It was like every other normal time that we normally walk through the park. We would take turns like we did before. So that way everyone had a chance to walk first and get the cobwebs. It wasn't just one person and we would all just walk.

Listen to the forest and the trees and all that stuff, and that's what we were doing. It wasn't any different from any other time. So y'all walk into the spot that everything happened? Right when you walk a little bit into the first trail, you walk over a creek, and there's this board that goes over the creek, and you walk over it, and we walked past that, and we were walking for a long time, and she said that it was getting dark, and we had to go back.

So we said, okay.So we turned and he pulled me aside. She was walking first and said, we're running out of time. And I was like, okay. So he was like, we need to stop. We need to stop somewhere. And I said, all right. So I was like, I'm tired. Let's sit down. So then we just started sitting down and we sat down for a minute, didn't really talk about anything.

And he grabbed me and he was like, we have to do something now. And I was like, okay, what do you want me to do?

In the darkness of Krug Park, a seemingly innocent outing took a haunting turn. Kaytlin, having been lured to the park by Amanda, was initially spooked by something that Sebastian had said to her.

What was said we'll never know, but with a face etched with fear, Amanda knew something troubling was about to happen. This was the turning point where Amanda could have diffused the situation. But they ventured deeper into the park, the atmosphere growing increasingly ominous. After the break, we'll uncover the chilling truth about what happened on that fateful night.

He was like, you need to find me a stick or something. I was like, okay, so I found, um, this really big log thing, like a walking stick. We all had like walking sticks now and he grabbed me and was like, you need to hit her, you need to hit her now, hit her as hard as you can hit her now. I just turned around and I hit her.

I hit her in the head with the stick. Did she fall to the ground? And she turned around. No, she turned around and she just looked at me. And she said, what the f***? And she just looked at me and I was just stunned. And I dropped the stick and I just stared at her. And then he ran past me and he tackled her.

And I remember hearing him hit the ground. And I turned around because I didn't want to watch it. And he was choking her. And I could hear it, and I could hear her saying, help me. And she was saying, help me, and I turned around, and he told me to help him. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to help.

He told me to get the syringe out of his pocket. He had a syringe in his pocket, and I handed it to him, and he injected something into her neck, and she had a seizure and stopped moving. Wow. What did he inject into her neck? I have no idea. Something he made. The police never got it. So she actually had a seizure.

How long did the seizure last? I don't know, but I know that it had to have killed her brainwaves because she wasn't like humanly functional after that. She was more just bodily functional after that. Was she moving at all? No, she stopped moving. Amanda gripping a makeshift weapon struck Kaytlin with a chilling blow, her victim's anguished exclamation hanging in the air.

But it was Sebastian who unleashed a malevolent force upon her, his hands constricting her throat. Depriving her of breath and hope, and then, with the syringe in hand, he injected a mysterious substance into Kaytlin's vulnerable neck, triggering a seizure. The chilling question remains, what was contained within the syringe?

The contents of it have not been made public, so the true nature and purpose of this ominous substance may forever remain unknown, but its sickening use shows that Sebastian had planned this all along. Now be warned listener, this next section contains very graphic details.

What were you thinking at this point after she had the seizure and she quit moving and you, she's basically dead? What's going through your head? Oh my God, he was serious. Okay, so we stood up off the ground and I was like, we need to stop. We can't do this. And he was like, it's already too late. I was like, no, it's not. We can just leave like nothing happened. He was like. We're already going to go to jail, and they're already going to take our son from us, so we might as well kill her, and have a chance of them not knowing that it was us.

And I said, okay. And then, he said that we had to cut all of her clothes off of her because she had to be clean. I started taking her shoes off and he, I guess, cut her shirts off, cut her bras off, and I folded her socks, and I put her socks in her shoes, and I put them in a pile, and I'm like freaking out at this point, so I'm just doing what he tells me to do. I have all of her clothes in a pile.

Is he still calm at this point, or is he freaking out that he just did this? No, he is acting like it's just making breakfast. Really? He knows exactly what he's doing, and he's completely calm, and he's telling me what to do, and he's saying this is what we have to do, and this is how you do it, and this is what's gotta happen.

So, they put her clothes in the pile, and I don't remember the order that things go in. I know that she got up at one point and started walking away. She wasn't dead? No. After that, she had the seizure she didn't die? No. Was she able to talk to you when you were cutting the clothes off? No, she, she never talked to us and she never really looked at us. She was just gone, but her body still moved. I was facing her and he was talking to me. Trying to tell me what to do, or something tells me to get something out of the purse, something like that, and I just see her get up, and just start walking down the trail, and I'm like, Sebastian, and he turns around and sees her, and he takes off running and tackles her again. And chokes her again, and was like, we need to hurry up, because she's gonna wake up again, and I don't want to have to do that again. He said he was tired of doing that, and he didn't want to do it again, so he had to go faster.

And then what happened? And then, he told me that it was my turn, and that I had to stab her first, and that I told him I couldn't do it. And he put one of the knives in my hand, and I thought about doing it, and I stood over, and I couldn't do it, and I told him that I couldn't do it, and he was like, you have to, and he started screaming at me, so I tried to stab her in between her ribs, and the knife just didn't go in, and like, I fell over, because I was above her head, and I fell over on the ground, and he took the knife out of his belt, and stabbed her in the stomach with it.

Was she conscious? No, she was still asleep. And so, the blood started coming out of her stomach. And she started like, gurgling. And I got up and I walked halfway down the trail. And I started freaking out really badly. I got on my hands and knees and started rocking back and forth with my hands over my ears.

And I told them to make it stop, to make the noise stop. Because she kept gurgling and I knew it was her blood. And that she was choking on her blood. I told him make it stop. So he put a sock in her mouth to make it stop and she wasn't awake, but he was talking to her and I don't remember all that he said, but I know he said that she was strong and she was tough and then he was trying to get her to die.

So, he told me he was going to try to break her neck. I don't think he did, because it wasn't in the autopsy report. He took the knife that was at his waist, and he tried to cut her throat a couple times, but she still kept gurgling, so I don't think that worked either. And then, he said that he was going to try to deflate her lungs or something, or collapse them, so he took the knife and stabbed it in between her ribs again, and then he waited, and I waited.

And he had my phone, and finally he said that was her last breath. And he pulled me over to the side and was like, If you're gonna freak out, you need to tell me right now, and don't you dare puke. Don't throw up. If you're gonna freak out, you need to tell me. Because we need to do something about it. I just didn't answer him.

And he said, where's her phone? So then he went back over to her and got her phone. He told me that we needed to pack everything up, and I just stood there, and I didn't move, and I was just staring at him. And he put everything back into the purse, and when he pulled out the phone, it was 2 AM, so that's when she finally died.

And then we went back to the area before the trails and he smashed your phone and threw it and he grabbed me and he pulled me up to the car and told me to drive home and I don't remember how I got home. I just remember that I drove down the highway, and I remember nobody was on the highway, and I thought that was weird.

And I remember him hitting me in the arm, telling me that I was driving too slow, and then hitting me and telling me I was driving too fast. And I remember looking at this pedometer, and I was going from like 20 miles an hour to 80 miles an hour. 20 miles an hour to 80 miles an hour.

On the drive, was he trying to prep you on what to say, or was he, you know, if we get pulled over, we're going to do this, or what was the discussion like? I don't remember. I don't remember going home. Okay. The only thing I remember is him telling me to speed up or slow down.

The murder of Kaytlin was both senseless and unwarranted. An innocent victim who ended up in the jaws of two vicious killers who wanted nothing more than to take her life.

Whether or not Amanda was under Sebastian's instruction, it is clear that she found herself participating in a horrifying sequence of events. Her mind became consumed by a mix of fear, disbelief, and desperation. And as they left the park that night, her mind teetered on the edge of madness. Her grasp on reality seemed to slip away, unable to comprehend the gravity of what just happened.

Amanda's account of the events reveals a disturbing psychological phenomenon that some individuals experience when confronted with extreme violence: dissociation. Dissociation is a coping mechanism that the mind employs as a defense mechanism against overwhelming trauma. In such moments, the mind detaches itself from the immediate reality, creating a psychological distance that allows individuals to endure or participate in acts that would otherwise be unimaginable. This dissociation is not unique to Amanda's experience, but is a phenomena observed in various cases involving killers and accomplices. It highlights the complex interplay between trauma, the human psyche, and the extraordinary measures the mind takes to protect itself from psychological distress that arises from such extreme circumstances.

In this next section, we will further explore the aftermath of this horrific crime, delving into the emotional aftermath and the lasting impact it had on Amanda and those involved.

So you get to the house. What do y'all do? He hands me the knives and tell me to get rid of them. And I just put them on the floor in our room. I don't know what to do with them. And he goes into the shower. And then when he comes out, he's like, we got to talk. He asked me if I remember what happened. I told him I didn't.

Because at that time, I didn't remember what happened and then he told me what happened and I don't remember what he said because I might be missing something. So he said that we have to tell the same story if we get arrested and that we probably won't because nobody goes there and that if we get arrested, we have to say that we were at the movies and that no matter what they say we can't change the story, that we have to stick with that, that as long as I don't change the story, we'll be okay.

Since this event occurred, up until now, you were mostly thinking, like, we're never gonna get away with this, I need to go to the police, I need to run away from this guy. Do you remember your thoughts?

I was shut down, and I wasn't really thinking anything, like, I didn't speak for the next week. I didn't say a word. I remember that he spoke for me. He used my phone for me. He pretended to be me.

During this week, did you get asked by anybody, have you seen Kaytlin Root, or did you watch the news saying she's missing or was found? Did you see anything like that or hear anything? I remember the next morning my mom took us to a restaurant for lunch and he was scrolling through Facebook and he showed me a post that said body found in Krug Park and I got up and I ran to the bathroom and I threw up and I stayed in there for a really long time where my mom had to come and get me and my mom brought me back out there and was like, are you okay? And Sebastian was like, she's fine. She just doesn't feel good.

But you were freaked out when they, you saw the news? Yeah, because I didn't think it was real. It was just a really bad dream. I was in a psychosis kind of thing. I was disassociative. Everything was going around me, but I wasn't a part of it. And then it made it real.

You knew that you, what you did was wrong? Yeah, we were going to jail. It was real. It really happened. So whenever he showed you that article that the body had been found at the park, what was his demeanor? Was he really worried? He was excited. Excited in what kind of way? Glad? As in, this is the beginning of it, kind of thing.

Like, I don't know. I'm just trying to clarify excited. You mean like excited like he was scared? Oh s***. No, like he wanted the attention. Happy, excited. Yeah. Do you think he wanted to be caught? I don't think he wanted to be caught. I think he wanted to keep doing it and then be caught. I think he wanted to have a few bodies on him.

Did he ever watch like serial killer movies or was into that kind of stuff? Yeah, his favorite movie is American Psycho, where that guy gets away with all those murders. Did he act like that was something that he would want to do? Was that an inspiration to him, you think? I think so.

The mention of the movie American Psycho raises chilling parallels to the case at hand.

This cult film, based on the 1991 novel by Brett Easton Ellis, features a protagonist, Patrick Bateman, played by Christian Bale, who carries out a series of gruesome murders while maintaining an outwardly charismatic, and composed demeanor. It is a disturbing coincidence that Sebastian identified with this movie and its portrayal of a killer who escapes detection.

This actually brings to mind another famous killer portrayed on the screen, Dexter. The TV series that ran from 2006 to 2013 is also famous for the portrayal of a killer who escapes detention and perhaps most notably prefers to use a syringe filled with etorphine. Etorphine is a semi synthetic opioid possessing a pain relieving potency approximately one to three thousand times that of morphine.

It is likely that the substance used on Kaitlin may have been that, or something more regularly available like ketamine. We must state that this is all hearsay on our part. Nevertheless, Amanda's state of dissociation following the murder becomes increasingly evident as she describes the news of the body being found in Krug Park.

Initially feeling like a bad dream to her, having mentioned her mom, I wondered what the effect of seeing her daughter like this must have had on her.

So after y'all see the news article, you're at the restaurant, y'all leave the restaurant, are you basically cornering him and saying, Hey I don't feel good about this, or what would you do?

I didn't speak at all. Like, when I say I didn't speak, I didn't speak to anyone. I didn't speak to him. I was a zombie. He had to take care of our son. He had to get me out of bed. He had to get me into the shower. He showered for me. I was gone for that week. And my mom kept asking me if I was okay, and he was like, she's fine.

She just doesn't feel good. And then I remember I was with my grandmother. And my grandma said to me, those people that did that in Krug Park deserve to die. And I looked at her and she didn't know it, but she was talking about me. Wow. And my heart just broke because my grandma said I deserve to die. And I couldn't tell her and...

Did that make you cry? Yeah. Yeah. Because when I think about myself, I don't think of myself as a bad person. Like, I've never had ill thoughts, surreal, towards anybody, bodily harm, or nothing like that. And my grandmother, who means the world to me, that I would never want to disappoint, just told me that I was the worst person in the world and that I deserved to die.

And I just looked at her because I knew I couldn't cry, couldn't do anything, because then I'd tell on myself. When your grandma said that, did she look at you? I thought she did look at me, and I looked at her, and I think the fact that I stared at her for so long, she knew. Because when I talked to her about it later on, now that I've been in prison, I asked her about that moment, and she said she had a feeling.

She said that she had a feeling that I had something to do with it and that she was wanting me to tell her. After she said that, she had a feeling that it was me and him. Wow. And she said that she was disappointed that I didn't tell her. And I was just like, I can't. What am I going to do? How am I going to tell you?

I live with him. He's with me 24 7. There's nothing that I could do. I never had my phone. I was never alone. I didn't trust anybody but him. It was just me and him. So if I were to tell on him then he'd go to prison there would be no me because I am him, you know what i'm saying? I would have been lost He told me what to do every day. He told me how to live, we were one person.

After your grandma told you that what was the next series of events? I tried to tell my mom what happened, 'cause she pulled me aside one day, shortly after that and she was like, you need to be careful when you guys go out at night because of what happened in Krug Park.

How far is Krug Park from your house? It's on the other side of town, but remember that's where me and him always went at night was Krug Park. She talks to me and she says you need to be careful because there's dangerous people out there and what happened in Krug Park. And I tried to tell her without telling her by saying don't worry, Sebastian would kill somebody if that were to happen.

And I just kept saying stuff like that. I said he won't let that happen. He'd kill somebody before that. And we're the scary ones in the woods. No one's gonna mess with us. I was trying to drop hints to her and tell her without telling her. You wanted her to know? I was trying to tell her, yeah. I didn't know what to do because in my mind, at the time, I wasn't guilty because I didn't do it.

At that time in my head, I was thinking that I was roped into it. It wasn't my idea; help. What do I do? Because there's no way I could have done anything. Cause like I said, I never had my phone. I was never alone and we don't believe in the police, but if my mom were to go to the police, that's different.

Cause Sebastian always said, if I leave him, he was going to kill my mom. We lived with her and I tried to protect her all the time. So that was one of my weaknesses that got me to stay. If I were to tell on him, I just watched him brutally murder someone. Who's to say he wasn't going to do that to my mom or to me?

Did you fear that maybe he'd kill you? I felt like on that night, there was a choice between me and her, and I chose her.

Amanda's attempts to drop hints to her mother, hoping she would piece together the truth, showcased her desperate struggles to find a way out of the predicament she found herself in.

She longed for someone to understand, to intervene and to protect her from the dangerous grip of Sebastian, the complexities of her situation must have had her feeling trapped, torn between the fear of Sebastian's potential retaliation and her desire to protect her loved ones. Ultimately, Amanda's choice on that night was the wrong one and for Kaytlin, it meant the ultimate tragedy. After the break, the arrest and trial of Amanda Bennett.

After this all goes down, how long was it till you were apprehended or questioned or had to run in with the police? A week later. They knew it was us a few days after it happened because I used Facebook. Yeah. I wasn't thinking, you know, ahead of time. Yeah, I wasn't thinking about that because at the beginning, I didn't think it was real. I didn't think it was going to happen. I wasn't taking precautions like we were about to murder somebody.

So did they knock on your door? Do they catch you out in public? They knew who he was, but they were waiting for my 17th birthday, which just so happened to be seven days from the crime. So they assumed that it was okay to wait that long. So on my 17th birthday at 9 AM. They pull my brother over on the highway and ask them where I am, and my brother tells them where I am, that it's my birthday, and that we're going to the parade. So when we get to the parade, you know, we set up the stroller with my son in it. And Sebastian's sitting there, me, my mom, and my best friend walk down the street to go to the gas station.

And I hear someone behind me say, excuse me ma'am, so I turn around and he grabs my arms and puts them behind my back and says, you're under arrest. And my whole body just turned hot. I could have swore that I had a seizure, that I pissed myself, like all of the above. And he sits me on the sidewalk. And he walks away, I guess, to go get Sebastian or something. And my mom's just crying hysterically, hysterically crying.

She sees the officer cuff you? Yeah, she was right in front of me, and she turned around. And I tell her, Mom, it's okay. Mom, they have the wrong person. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be okay.

Did he announce why you're under arrest? Because of the murder? I don't think so. I think he just said you're under arrest. Did your mom believe that it was because of the murder or that you were just getting arrested? She knew. She knew? She had to have known. She had to have known, because that was the big news in town. And I didn't do anything else. And she knew I was out that night. I mean, I've never asked her. I'm just assuming.

Yeah, so without nobody even saying what you're getting cuffed for, you think her reaction says that you being cuffed meant you were connected to the murder? Yeah. So she's crying hysterically and the cop goes and apprehends Sebastian. Yeah. Did Sebastian notice you getting cuffed up and run or what?

I don't know. I wrote him while I was in prison and I asked him, I said, why didn't you warn me? Like, why didn't you yell that he was behind me? And he said, I couldn't, they had guns on me. So I'm assuming other officers came up to him at gunpoint and said get on the ground, but I don't know. So y'all get arrested, I have that in my discovery.

Yeah, y'all get arrested. I guess the next morning you probably went in front of a judge. You got told what you were being charged with. How soon after? No. So they took me to the interrogation room and I'm handcuffed and they carry me up the stairs. I don't know why they do this, but they do. Two men next to me pick me up under my armpits and carry me up the stairs and carry me into an interrogation room. And I'm interrogated for 12 or 8 hours.

Was your mom with you? No, I was 17. Yeah. They asked me if, you know, I wanted a lawyer. And I was like, I should get a lawyer. But they kept questioning me. And when I asked them, they said I never asked for a lawyer. I just said that I should get a lawyer. So that's why they never got me one.

What was that like being interrogated at 17 years old by adult cops, detectives? Was that a pretty tough experience? I don't know. Like, it was different because I wasn't allowed to talk to people. And these people wanted to talk to me. So it was, oh, these people want to talk to me.

So, in a naive way, I was excited that somebody wanted to talk to me, because when I was with Sebastian, I wasn't allowed to talk to anybody. We didn't have any friends. It was just me and him. You felt like when the detectives were questioning you, they were trying to be your friend? Yeah. And I think that's what got me. They were really nice to me, and I was trying to be smart, and it wasn't working. I really made it look bad for myself.

Did you explain to them what happened just like you just explained to me what happened? No, I told the story that I was supposed to. Oh, about the movies? And they told me I was not there and I said, yes, I am.

They said, no, you're not. We watched the video and I said, you better watch it again because I was there. Because that's what I was told to say and I thought he was going to say the same thing. Did he say the same thing? No, he said, she's crazy, she did it. Wow. That's exactly, he lasted ten minutes in the interrogation room and I lasted two weeks. He said she's crazy and she made me do it. That's what he said.

On October 16th 2016 a jogger found Kaytlin's body in Krug Park. Detectives from St joseph Police Department managed to link Amanda and Sebastian to the crime by finding Kaytlin's damaged cell phone. Within the phone's memory, they were able to piece together a Facebook Messenger dialogue with Amanda.

They also found a cell phone photograph of Sebastian at a convenience store where they stopped briefly, shortly before the murder. From the store's surveillance video, that cell phone photo, and the Facebook dialogue, they were able to identify the two suspects. Now, we've spoken a lot about justice reform and the mistreatment of murder suspects so far on Voices of a Killer.

While we cannot confirm whether or not Amanda was afforded a lawyer at the time of arrest, what is true is that she must have been under immense emotional and psychological pressure from the detectives having been accused of second degree murder at the age of 17. Clearly still under the days of her dissociation, I wanted to know what was going through Amanda's head while she was heading to trial and what would happen to her next.

Did you go to trial and him as a witness or did things switch around after that? No. So, I was at Juvie for a day, and they took me to the holding cell. And since I was a juvenile, they had to put a sheet over the window so I couldn't see outside. So, I was in this cell by myself, can't see anybody. And they took me to certify me, and I didn't have a lawyer.

I guess I didn't need a lawyer, because they didn't give me one. And they kept me in this holding cell for months with the light off 24 7. I didn't talk to any human beings. They would open my door, shove the tray in, and shut the door. And I was only allowed to shower every five days at night. And I was only allowed to use the phone at midnight.

And when I tried to use the phone, all my family was asleep. So I never got to talk to anybody. I started talking to myself and I went insane. How long did you stay in there? Like a few months and they kept putting me in suicide watch just because they thought it was funny. And whenever they came to get me one day, these sergeants were like, let's go.

And I was like, where are we going? They're like somewhere you really desperately need to go. And I'm like, where? And they're like, we're taking you to the mental Institute. And they took me to the mental Institute. And I fell out of the car and they just laughed at me. It was a really tall SUV and I was shackled with my hands behind my back.

And I tried to climb down and I slipped and I fell and they just laughed at me. And I had to figure out how to get up off the ground in shackles, handcuffed behind my back. And whenever I would go to court, they would take me to court with a bunch of men and they'd put me in the middle of them when we were in the elevator and they would all touch me.

Really? Yeah. But, so when I talked to my lawyer, she tried to tell me the rundown of my options. She said my options are, I can go to trial, but they will enhance my charges to first degree murder. And they're charging me with the ACA and they're going to try to shoot for the death penalty. And I said, okay, what's the other option?

She said, the other option is you plead guilty to second degree murder to an open plea. They don't enhance your charges and the death penalty goes off the table. So then I called my mom and I said, what do you, I told her my options. I said, what do you want me to do? And she said, anything but the death penalty, and I said, that means that I have to plead guilty to second degree murder.

She said, then that's what you're going to do. And that's what I did. Wow. So what did Sebastian do? Did he plead guilty or not guilty? I think he pled guilty because he went to court before I did. What was his sentence and we got the same sentence. Amanda doesn't know much about what happened at Sebastian's trial despite her infatuation with him, although she initially pled not guilty.

She is correct to say that eventually they both pled guilty. However, perhaps she would be interested to learn. of some evidence that was presented at Sebastian's trial. During the trial, evidence from an initial interview with one of the lead detectives was presented where Sebastian told the detectives that the killing was Amanda's idea.

Now, Amanda obviously contradicts this by saying the murder was Sebastian's idea. Regardless of what is true, they didn't really care who they killed that night. They sent out Facebook messages to four or five people, and only Kaytlin responded. They asked if she wanted to hang out, and she said yes. This is something that's very unusual in a homicide case, and normally there's some type of motive connection.

There was also some interesting evidence produced at Amanda's sentencing, a letter that she wrote to Sebastian. I wanted to know more about what was inside that letter.

So there was a letter found in, was it in jail they found it? Yeah, I tried to give it to my co defendant. And you were basically saying that you wanted to take the fault of the crime?

So, you know, having all of this trauma happen, and I was postpartum still and severely depressed and my other half was pretty much taken from me. I had planned to commit suicide. That was my goal. My life pretty much was over to me, because the things that meant most to me in the world were taken from me.

So, I had a plan to commit suicide, and my co defendant's family happened to be in the same wing unit that I was in, and they came up to talk to me and asked me what my plans were, and I had told them. And they had told me, why make your death useless? Why don't you use it for something? And I was like, what do you mean?

And they're like, you're gonna die anyway, so it doesn't matter if you take the blame or not. And basically, the idea was that I write this letter to my co defendant confessing to the crime and making myself sound horrible and guilty as much as I possibly could so that way he could throw the blame on me like I knew he was trying to and make it believable.

So that way, they would find that, they would find that and he could plead not guilty and he'd be out there to take care of our son. And since I would be dead, it wouldn't matter what the world thought of me anyway. So in this letter, I wrote details about the crime and saying how, you know, it was amazing and all this stuff.

And then at the bottom, I put on there, also read the other note. So I wrote him two letters, which the news and the court doesn't say that there were two, but there were two because I have both of them. And the other letter, it says pretty much goodbye and that I love you and that he was amazing to me and that the plan is don't give this letter to your lawyer until Monday because once it's Monday, it'll be too late and it won't matter.

And what I did was I tried to give him these letters and I got caught doing it. They took the letters and threw me in suicide watch. They used the letters against me and I never got to commit what I was trying to do. But only one of the letters. Only one of the letters made it into evidence. But I have both of them.

You also sent, tell me if this is true, I'm telling you what I've read, that you sent your co defendant a vial of your blood saying my blood is special and demons love it. And another murder your way or something like that? That was part of the, part of the... Suicide thing? Confession letter thing. Yeah.

Whenever they read your guilty verdict, did you have an outburst? Or did you say anything to the judge? Because you took a plea, so I guess they didn't read it to you. But was there any kind of outburst? Because it says that you told the judge that you repeatedly tried to kill yourself. Oh yeah. I read my letter at the end to the victim.

And I was trying to tell him about you know how I really felt because they told me in this that I was a monster and that I was faking everything and then of course they had this letter that I wrote and I was trying to explain to them. You know, that it was a suicide letter, but if you actually read it and read the other letter that I included in it, that I feel horrible about this.

I've repeatedly tried to take my own life because that's the only thing that I feel that I deserve. You can give me the maximum sentence that you think is possible and still you won't punish me as much as I punish myself. What did the judge tell you? He called me a psycho. The judge called you a psycho? Yeah.

What was your reaction? I was so young. So I thought it was like an auction, like I thought he could throw a number and then I could throw a number and then we'd meet somewhere in the middle and sadly that was not it. He told me I was a psychopath and then told me that I get the maximum sentence of life and then he said we're adjourned and I was like, no, where's everybody going?

I don't accept that. And he said you don't have a choice. So I thought it was an option because I've never been in trouble before. I've never spoken to the police before. So I was very confused because everyone was leaving. And I was like, wait, I don't accept that. I don't accept that. What's the next one?

Did they laugh at you? That was it. No, he was mad. He was like, you don't get to do that. Wow. I was like, that's not fair. Whenever they sentenced me, he told me that they do not know who to believe because we both said, that each other did it, and that since I am a psychopath, he's giving me the maximum sentence possible, which is life imprisonment. And since I was a juvenile, he had to give me possibility.

Which is 30 years in the Missouri Department of Corrections, right? Yes. And then you become eligible, so it's going to really be determined on when you go to the board, if they think you're sorry for what happened, your role in it, and if you're rehabilitated, do you think that's possible?

To be honest, that does not matter when I go to the board. What these people look at is how old I was when the crime happened, which is young. So that's against me. How heinous was the crime? And it was pretty bad. That's against me. Are the victim's family still alive? Which, they will be, that's against me, and what was the reasoning for the cause for the crime, and there was no reason, so that's against me.

There's nothing for me, when I go in there. Those are really the only things that they look at. They don't care what you've done in here, unless it's bad. They don't care about any of that. Not looking too fondly.

As always with written sources, the devil is quite literally in the details. According to news reports, in this letter, Amanda wrote to Sebastian and said, quote, I always said I could get away with murder, unquote.

Amanda is alleged to have talked in the letter about the next murder and how she wants to torture a victim so she could hear them talk. And she said the next time that they would do it her way because if they had done it her way the first time, they would have never been caught. She also sent Sebastian a vial of her blood stating, quote, my blood is special and demons love it, unquote.

The letter also allegedly contains grooming instructions for Sebastian and how she was going to commit suicide. This wasn't the only letter at Amanda's sentencing. She also read out a two page letter asking for forgiveness. This, however, had no impact on the judge's decision, and she was sentenced to life in prison.

The same sentence that Sebastian received. If you would like to know the contents of this letter, we have an exclusive Patreon only interview with Amanda, where she reads them out loud. If you would like to hear the shocking contents of these, head over to patreon.com/voicesofakiller

Another constant in both Amanda and Sebastian's trial and sentencing was Kaytlin's family. Even though they may have endured a roller coaster of emotions ranging from anger and sorrow to frustration and anguish at their loss, they likely experienced a sense of closure knowing that those responsible would face the consequences of their actions.

I was curious to know if Amanda felt remorse for what she had done for the pain and suffering inflicted upon Kaytlin's family.

So obviously you've really hurt a family. I'm certain that Kaytlin Root has some people that deeply love her a community that was really damaged by what happened Yeah And I feel it's really bad because when you kill someone that person becomes your best friend because you learn everything about them you learn their favorite color how old they are their family situation their mental situation you learn everything and I didn't know her like I knew her name, but I didn't know her and I feel really bad because she really just wanted a friend and that's why she went with me that night because she didn't have a home.

She lived with her mom and her mom's boyfriend r***d her and she told her mom and her mom kicked her out took the husband and moved to, California And her dad didn't want anything to do with her either And she was literally couch hopping trying to find somewhere to stay and she had dropped out of school.

Wow That's sad. So if you could tell the community where Kaytlin Root lived and Kaytlin Root's loved ones anything what would you say to them? Just that she really was a good person and I should have just took the time to talk to her and I should have chose her life over mine and I was selfish to do that and that she could have done a lot of great things and she had a really good personality and that I'm sorry.

And if there was anything that I could do to make it any better, because I know that I can't bring her back. And I know that I can't completely fix that wrong, because without her, it's still going to be bad. But if there was something that I could do, I just they would let me know that I could do it, that I'm really not the evil bad person that they think that I am.

I say, what would you have done in that situation? And everyone tells me I wouldn't have done what you did. But here's the thing, I didn't think I would have done what I did either until it happened. Do you think about it a lot in prison now? I have had night terrors for years about it. And I would just replay over and over her being murdered in front of me.

And I'd have dreams about everyone I know hurting me and trying to kill me and hate me and all that stuff. And for the first few years in prison, it was really bad. I couldn't leave my room, I couldn't go to chow without someone saying something to me or trying to physically hurt me. And I have only just now started to accept what happened and I can finally sleep without having nightmares, unless I talk about it.

I will probably won't be able to sleep for the next week, but everyone always comes up to me and was like, Oh, are you the Krug Park killer? Or, Oh, did you really do this? Or, Oh, did this really happen? And anytime I get new roommates, someone always tells them why I'm here. I'm reminded of it all the time, every day, that I am a murderer.

Whether I was the one that had the knife in my hand or not, my choices led to her death. I could have tried harder to get him to stop, or I could have pushed him down and took her. There were so many things that I could have done differently, and because I didn't. And because I condoned it, and because I didn't tell anybody, she's dead because of me.

So I am equally as guilty and involved as him, whether I have the knife or not. I am in OOA and stuff, and I do tell my story in that. And it's Offenders Offering Alternatives, it's like the Scared Straight, where women come in here and we tell them our stories and how we got here and stuff, because I don't want someone's life to end up the way that mine did, you know, just because of a few little lies that I believe, and it just, I want people to realize that this could be your daughter and stuff, no matter how well you're raised or how good your life was, because, I mean, my life wasn't bad. And I was a straight A student and I was raised good, but look what happened. Like, a criminal and things that, like, bad things that happen to people, they don't discriminate.

Amanda is right about one thing in this last section. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter who did what. A life was lost to a senseless act, and Kaytlin Root was tragically murdered.

According to news report at the trial and sentencing of both Amanda and Sebastian, Kaytlin's mom, Jamie Jamarillo, talked about the effect that Amanda had on luring Kaytlin with a simple Facebook message. She said, and I quote, It is scary to know that she was number four or five, and the rest didn't comment, but she did.

But she loved everybody. And social media, it does scare me. Because who's to say there isn't somebody that says, Hey, you want to hang out? Then the next thing you know, end quote. Kaytlin's death will always be a stark reminder of the darker side of social media. You may not know what the true intentions of the sender of the next message is in your inbox.

Nevertheless, it is understandable that Amanda expresses remorse for not being the friend that Kaytlin needed. For not extending a helping hand during her moments of vulnerability, she recognizes the missed opportunity to make a positive impact on Kaytlin's life and laments the selfishness of her own choices.

For Kaytlin's family, the void left by Kaytlin's absence would have undoubtedly impacted every aspect of their lives. To quote Kaytlin's mom once more, they stole my best friend. With such a brutal crime, I wanted to know what Amanda's experience in prison was like so far, and especially starting her sentence as a juvenile.

What has prison been like for you, do you feel like it's pretty tough, mentally, physically? I I feel like being a juvenile, it's horrible because I needed counseling. I needed help and I didn't get any of that. They literally just said, good luck. I'm 23. I've been here almost seven years now and I needed help.

And all they did was throw me into a population and say, good luck with the target on my back because everybody knew who I was. Everybody was waiting for me. I even had guards come up to me and say, oh, you're the one. They were waiting for me. And you've been in a lot of fights? Yeah. At first, I just let them do whatever they wanted to me.

The first time I got out of the trailer was when I turned 18. They let you out of the trailers into GP. I was in the room and that night my bunkie grabbed me off the top bunk, threw me on the ground and profusely started beating me until someone came in and pulled her off of me. Just because she didn't like what she thought I was there for.

And she didn't even ask me what I was there for. It was just all the stories that she heard. And it's been like that for years. And I never did anything at first because my mom told me to keep my hands to myself and I called her one day and I told her what was happening. And I was like, what do you want me to do?

She told me not to touch nobody. And I won't tell me not to. And she was like, I want you to defend yourself. Don't start nothing. So, that's when I started getting into fights and protecting myself. And even the officers know it, they'll come in and be like, Bennett, why? And I'm like, they hit me first. They started it first. Now that you are fighting back, are you winning? I have won a few fights and I've lost a few fights. But, I've never started any of them. And they've all started. Because, killer this, killer that, you ain't never going home. That's how they all start.

Why do you think they have such a problem with, cause there's plenty of murders in there, I talked to them, and they don't have the same story, why are you getting such all the heat?

Because I don't think that people put their selves in my place, they just see the heinous act that happens, and they're feeling sorry for themselves for being in here. And being away from their families. So they need something and an outlet to take away from their pain and their loss, and I just happen to be an easy target.

So Amanda, you get out probably over 20 years from now, who do you think you'll be then? I hope to be like, I'm really into helping a lot of people. That's what I wanna do. I know they're not gonna let me be a counselor. They're not gonna let me be nothing like that. I think I want to be like an engineer as well, and I'm really into knowledge.

So anything that I could do to help the world in that field, I want to. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. But I'm also really scared. I'm really scared to go out there because I think that people are going to be very vengeful and I don't want to have to fight out there like I have to fight in here.

I don't want that and I have a feeling that a lot of people are going to try to hurt me and I'm scared for that. I know I'm not going to be able to just be me out there.

Prison has taken a heavy toll on Amanda, especially as a juvenile offender. Now, listener, you may think this is karmic, which is true to a certain extent, but without proper support and counseling, she has been thrown into a hostile environment where she has become a target for violence.

Looking ahead, Amanda holds on to a glimmer of hope, aspiring to make a positive impact on others and pursue interests in counseling and engineering. However, her fear of facing continued hostility and violence outside the prison wall looms large. Profound impact of her actions and incarceration has shaped her perception of herself and her place in the world, leaving her with a mixed aspiration of anxieties as she contemplates life after prison. Before our conversation ended, I wanted to know if Amanda had a message for someone in a similar position she was in before going to prison.

Let me ask you a question. Obviously, as a 16 year old girl and having, being in a serious relationship where somebody was twisted like that. You're just in this bad situation. If there was a 16 year old girl out there right now, listening to this, and they, they're in that situation where they have these bad thoughts and they're letting other people direct them. What would you tell that 16 year old girl right now?

That they don't really love you. It's just a facade to get you to do what they want. And you don't need nobody else to tell you that you're beautiful, to know that you are, and to know that you're worth something. Because you can tell yourself that because you are. No matter what he tells you. You're always worth something better than that.

And don't put yourself down to that. You don't need nobody but your family. Amanda, I appreciate you opening up to me. It's been quite the story. I think 16 is so young. There's people that'll argue that even 23 years old, you still haven't quite developed all the way mentally. So it's just an unfortunate event.

It's such a heinous crime that it really scares a community. They just don't know how to think and act. But I think that our conversation, people can listen and see that you're not an evil person. I, an evil act occurred, but it's very difficult for me to say you're just a, in general, an evil person. So. I appreciate you opening up.

I hope this helps you. I hope the dreams also subside. I do know one of the ways that your brain filters out trauma is through nightmares. So, I think it'll eventually go away. But I appreciate it and appreciate everything.

On the next episode of Voices of a Killer.

I got a story to tell because the system don't work. Did you think to yourself, oh boy, I'm in trouble now? Of course I did. But I also felt if I don't say anything it'll all blow over. And it goes off again, and he falls down. So it was blood anyway, all in the house anyway. This guy was stretched out in the backyard on the pavement, and he's bleeding. Flashback to all the mistakes you made as a young man, ain't no mercy.

That's a wrap on this episode of Voices of a Killer. I want to thank Amanda for sharing her story with us today. Her ability to be open and honest is what makes this podcast, so special. If you would like to listen to the raw recordings of these interviews, you can visit patreon.com/voicesofakiller By becoming a patron, you can access not only this, but hours of bonus recordings, correspondence, and you can contribute to the way the show is produced. A big shout out to Sonic Futures who handled the production, audio editing, music, licensing, and promotion of this podcast.

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Your feedback helps us improve and reach new listeners. Thank you for your support, and we can't wait to share more stories with you in the future. Thank you for tuning in. I'm your host, Toby, and we'll see you next time on Voices of a Killer.